Damn Door

Most people look to my Magdalyn for free smiles with a side of belly laughter. She’s a bold, brassy (and borderline sassy) seven-year old who’s mastered the use of the eye roll. As her mother, I’m usually on the defense waiting for her personality to be misconstrued. One of my most favorite pastimes (okay, of the last seven years) is observing people’s reactions to her. Her walk is so unique with slamming feet, attitude approaching and curls a-bouncing. These curls (which flare up to true ringlets during hot summer months) and mighty personality have deemed her an exact replica of Darla from the Little Rascals, but whatever you do, please do not call her Darla. (But, I know you will because you want to see her most authentic reaction)!

She’s sweet down to her core and will really be saddened and distraught when she’s learned she’s crossed a line. She doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, honestly. She just hasn’t learned to rein in the sassy.

This morning, while trying to unlock the front door (the struggle was real), she mustered up the indiscretion, “This damn door!” Now, I’m in the kitchen buttering this child’s toast and clearly, I think I must have heard wrong, but then I make eye contact with Abigail, the rule-following almost eleven-year old. Her movement stops and her smile begins to form. Yep, it’s confirmed. She said, “DAMN!” In true motherly fashion, I continue to butter the toast, and without smiling, I share with Maggie why we don’t use the word. But, what I really want to do is burst out laughing, but I can’t. However, I wink at Abby, and then run to the bathroom to tell Ben, the SNL watching, preteen who thinks Maggie is the funniest person ever born! He laughs right along with me. Dammit, she’s hilarious.

Published by jwoodlaird

As a child, I lived next door to the library, my mom owned a bookstore during my middle school years, and I've spent the last 22 years teaching reading and writing. Loving books was no accident!

3 thoughts on “Damn Door

  1. Oh my gosh! This post is hysterical! Jen, you own this Slice of Life thing. I am now either Maggie’s best friend or her arch nemesis. You capture her personality to the “T” in your lines, “She’s a bold, brassy (and borderline sassy) seven-year old who’s mastered the use of the eye roll… Her walk is so unique with slamming feet, attitude approaching and curls a-bouncing.” I can’t get enough of this post. I am reading it again, for a third time. Welcome aboard!!!

    Like

    1. Of course, it’s perfect my first comment is from JOY, the reason I am here finally sharing my writing. I appreciate you, our friendship, and your lemon pie more than you know, Joy. Thank you!

      Like

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